Hard.

I couldn't pull my self up to be better for this whole week. I do not know if I have waken up in a wrong side of the bed because it seems to be impossible to be like this everyday. This week has been so stressful from the earthquake started on October 15th and then aftershocks every day, from the Account I am working with and the people. I cannot help but ask God if I did anything wrong for me to be punished like this.... think think think.. yes, I think I did. Until when will I bare it?

I really want to quit my job because of all these going on, I think everything is getting worse than they seem but still I asked my self if am I really that busy to complain? I am not sure. How busy can I get? Is this the worse? Definitely not.

I even thought of quitting before the year ends but I do not have the heart to leave like this, as an old friend said "If you must quit, do it for the right reasons". There are no guarantees even that I can be better on a different company, maybe the thought of it is exciting but who knows when the excitement would end? I know , I know, I think too much. But I have to think really hard. I AM NOT HAPPY.

Will I be happy when I transfer? I swear it is not the pay, I don't even think I can be paid the same as I am being paid now on a different company.

Why I am not happy? Everything is not the same as what they seem - again. The environment is not a home as it was, I feel uncomfortable in my own home. The people were not the same, the mentality is different. I don't think it's because we were busy lately because I have been from worse, but this feeling is different now.

NO, I AM NOT HAPPY ANYMORE.