When I created this blog, I was expecting that I would have a lot of negative things, rants, complaints and emotional problems to be posted but it was different from what I have been doing for the past few days. Maybe because there were always reasons for me to be happy. Well, I am very mababaw kind of person getting a corny message from my boyfriend would make me feel happy, seeing my mama cooking for me/us already makes me happy, making someone happy makes me feel happy and seeing Gdragon smiling would make me smile and heart flutters LOL.
I am like that.
I am very patient with my family, friends, work and less for my boyfriend. LOL. I always think of other people before I would think for myself. That may be is the reason why I am so sensitive because I always think what they think and what makes them happy. It seems as if I am trying to please them or making them think that I am always kind.
But to be honest I am not at all that goody-good girl, although I can also say that I am a good girl because I am really conscious on the things that I do and act. But the bad side of me is that getting annoyed for the wrong reasons, getting upset over nonsense things, get jealous without any reasons to be, pretend that I do when I don't and being too much of a good girl which is very annoying!
But let me make it clear that I am not like that all the time, I came to understand things, people and situation and I can adjust, I even talk to myself telling me that I shouldn't do that. But sometimes, you just really want to explode and wants to nag, rant, and do all the bad stuff that I have in my head but at the end I still keep it. I think I rarely complain nowadays and I am sad that most of the time I tell it to my boyfriend who also has his own issues. :(
Today, I just feel so un-happy. I am so annoyed. And I do not know if it's because I have been keeping this feeling for a long time that every little things that happen would just get into my nerve and would make me mad. Imagine? Just seeing that old friend's nuisance annoys me. Someone just took my swivel chair and I was already annoyed. We get a lot of calls when it is my job to take calls I get annoyed. Although I try my very best not to be obvious when talking to my callers but when I am not, it is already written all over my face. BACK OFF!
That's me. I am not all that good. Maybe at times or most of the times, I am mean, irrational, upsetting.