Since the second quarter of 2012 I have been hearing different chatters about engagements, pre-nups and weddings. Last year I had like three people who are kinda close to me that told me they will get married this year. So yes it all ended – thank God! LOL
I really never thought about Weddings and such, I mean as a woman everyone wants to be wearing that bridal gowns right? But then again, I am too realistic of life that I’d rather be single for a long time or living-in with a partner. After these close people I am with at work told me they are going to get married I got a different kind of excitement..not for myself but for them. And on the preparation I realized it’s kinda hard thing to do and difficult to plan and achieve those but it was all worth it because when that big day came, all the definitions of HAPPINESS were actually written all over their faces and it made me so happy, touched and overwhelmed. I realized then, so that is the feeling and I have to have that feeling soon. Maybe not now, but soon!
Given that you are already in a relationship and wanted to settle with that person, the first step should be engagement. Most of my friends who got married really doesn’t have long engagement. Usually, after getting engaged for a few months they get married after all the preparations. And I feel like that fact is already given so I would like to change my course.
So I was thinking of having a long term engagement. It doesn’t matter if I have been in a relationship with that guy for like less than a year or so but the engagement must be longer than a year. Say, 2-3 years of being engaged would be fine. Like I have mentioned I wouldn’t really mind that living-in stage as part of engagement plan. Why? This usually applies if you have been in a relationship with someone for a couple of months of less than 2years only. You know, it’s important to get to know who you’ll be marrying to, his habits, his attitude when you are together from the moment he wakes up and before he sleeps and everything in between. I want to know them before I settle and live in a house with them after the wedding.
Of course, not everyone would understand my excuse about living-in right? They would usually say that ” what’s the sense of getting married when you are already living-in?’ Because MARRIAGE/MATRIMONY is a Sacrament as a Catholic wherein you face God and ask permission to live with that partner for the rest of your life until death do you part. Of course I honor and respect that. But lemme ask you otherwise, would marriage really be a guarantee of everything? NO.
Although YES you get married because you love each other, you PROMISE to each other to be faithful and all but it’s not a guarantee that one of the parties would be LOYAL.
What if you do not like the habits of your partner after getting married and live with them in the same roof? Either you will bare it and get used to it OR you will keep on arguing about it. For me, that is what engagement is for. That is why as much as possible it should be a long-term engagement.
Puhlease, do not ever tell me that you will ONLY get laid after marriage. For all I know even before engagement when you were still “In A Relationship” you have already did it *cough* MORALITY *cough*.
Say you never did IT even before in a relationship, or during being engaged and you will do IT after marriage. Aside from the partner who would really want to do it with you before the wedding unless if you would have a boyfriend like Edward Cullen or something, I think it would really be normal for a guy to ask you to do it together before marriage….and sooo much for that I don’t even wanna explain further. But anyway, say you want to do it AFTER the wedding, how will you know you are compatible? How will you know you will like it? How will you know that he would like it? What if one of you either is not satisfied with IT or doesn’t like IT? Would one of you be passive, or patient enough to accept it or bare with it? After-effects on that would either be boring marriage life, or one would look for someone else who can give them satisfaction. And so much for that.
So going back to living in, I am not closing my doors for that… We can travel together wherever, I can certainly do that already since I am engaged to marry him anyway. We would be able to discover each other flaws and all, learn to accept the difference and treasure the similarities. Should there be a problem along the way atleast we can either cool it off or break it up while we aren’t married yet.
We have to have a house of our own while we are engaged. Certainly no babies while engaged since that will really dispute the purpose of marriage. I don’t even think engagement ring is necessary (though I’d like to have it) but then, if not then it’s fine still
But again, this is MY Engagement Plan, and I cant do anything if you wont agree with it. You have to make your own and I promise I wouldn’t care what would it be. Next up would be Pre-nup!