25/5 realizations

So, as you know I just turned 26 (whoa~!!) (Korean age) 25 international age! trollololol XD

And I don't want to be emotional and good thing I wasn't emotional however, I think God gave me this gift...I consider it as a gift.. LOL of really thinking a lot. I think it's wisdom. Although I blame it sometimes for being so sensitive and overreacting but it actually has a lot of more good side.

The past year I realized that I have learned so many things not just from my personal experience but mostly from others and that would basically serves as highlights of my 24th year in the world and hopefully continues to guide me all through my years while I am living.

BEST THINGS..

1.) Just like the Bible verse "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference" is exactly what I am, feel and what it is for the last year. I have been thinking really hard, couldn't really decide right off of the bat because I want to understand, I want to know the pros and cons of every situation and I am glad I did and doing it. Although yeah it's me procrastinating but it's better than making mistakes. I am not saying I have never made any mistake for the past year but more like minimized and I knew how I had to attack to every situation like a matured / thinking person.

2.) It's okay to be alone. Although I have a boyfriend that I can call anytime, I still have these moments when I can be alone #MeTime. To be honest  my boyfriend and I are not the usual boyfriend-girlfriend that would text a lot or call a lot. Whenever I am busy he understands that I cannot communicate and same goes with me (not completely). I really appreciate being alone at times, I get to again think a lot, remember the people I care about, my school and priorities and how I can make it better. I also always believe that whenever I am alone I have time with God, this is different from going to church on Sundays but mostly being able to realize what God has made me and what  he also wants me to be. 

3.) Family. Family is already given that plays a big role in my life be it sadness or happiness. My nieces and nephews inspire me a lot. I feel like I do not have to get married or to have kids because I am very much happy with them. I really enjoy my time being with them and I really appreciate that my boyfriend is also the same so he understands pretty well. I always thought that I do not have a perfect life but I can say my life is happy especially for the past year. I had a lot of troubles instead and it could be more than the happy times but still gets overridden by happy moments with my family. When I was younger I always thought that my parents have owed me a lot and I always blame them for the mishaps that I had, but I realized I would still have to be thankful because I am not what I am now if something was different in the past. I stopped blaming. I have forgiven them but it's still natural that I wont be able to forget. My siblings especially are very close to me, I am glad to have them around because we share the same things most of time. They make me laugh hard and I can tell them anything. As I view it we are still a typical family and I am contented about it.

4.) KPOP and Kdrama's. I take this as a blessing in disguise because I have learned so much about life by seeing characters in Kdrama or the lives of KPOP idols that I admire the most. For the longest time that I have been following Korean goodies, never I have regretted spending my time with those, instead I feel satisfied by watching 2-episodes of Kdramas lately, that's like 2hrs just watching. If it was the old me I would probably say I was spending my time, but these days, I say no... because I always try to be able to learn something out of nothingness of the story. LOL. I think I will be a fan of Korean's entertainment for a long time, maybe when I wont really get to be really busy!

5.) One of the blessings that I have received for the last year would be my boyfriend. Rimond. He doesn't know, and I wont tell him (not until he reads this blog post). But for the past year I have felt how I could fall for him over and over. My heart is filled with gladness everytime I think about it..and I think about him everytime. I wouldn't say that I have never felt this way but I could say that this one's better because I am taking it maturely or level-headed. I feel like my love is growing every day. Well, there were those times that I get disappointed on how he acts, how he says things, and how he respond, I cannot deny that I get annoyed of him maybe every day but every day I realize how much he means to me. I've finally accepted that you cannot really change a person however, you can accept him for whatever he is and it takes a lot of practice. Ours is very special, ours is unique, ours is something worth keeping. I feel like if ever we would break up then I'd be single for the rest of my life. I feel like if it wouldn't be him then I wouldn't want anybody else. What do you actually call this? I am not trying to be hypocrite because I think my friends know how much I didn't like him before but now is really different. With him. Right now. I feel like I can settle down already minus the kids. LOL. I have to admit there were temptations sometimes, there's Gdragon and Zac Efron but at the end of the day.. it's just HIM. Him and me. I don't know how it came up with this but it's really a good one. 

creepy story

I don't think I would be able to write my dream in detail but what just happened tonight was some kind of a nightmare or false awakening or probably real.

I took my meal break earlier around 1:31AM and as usual I would barge in to our sleeping lounge and sleep for not more than 20minutes (but has been over lately since I started going back to school) . I normally set my alarm for 15minutes so when I wake up I would still have time to eat or make myself some coffee which is by the way not affecting me anymore. 

My phone alarmed at exactly 15minutes and I prefer not to wake up and set it up to snooze after 5minutes more which I normally do. However, I couldn't sleep right although I was still sleepy (more sleepy). And I noticed that the bed I was lying to was moving like someone was trying to climb up the 2nd deck of the bed. Atleast that was what I thought. However, you would know that someone is trying to climb up the 2nd deck because after a couple of seconds most likely that person should have been settled and sleep, but it wasn't the case. The bed was still moving after about 4minutes as per my time on phone. My sleeping position was in prone position while hands both in my chest because it's cold, so basically i couldn't move it. I forcibly turn my head from right to left side so I could view the other bed but then my mind told me that there was a woman that was watching over me. It was just my thinking, I was half-awake I guess but my body froze when I heard myself saying that there was this lady wearing white looking at me.

I.COULDNT.MOVE.

I wonder if I will not fight that feeling will I die?

If I will not force my hands to get off my chest so I can reach for my phone just at least that as a sign of movement. Will I die?

I know I was awake but not fully for sure. 

I tried hard and faced the fright no matter if that lady would come across me while I was standing up. But nothing happened while I was turning my back against the bed. I glanced once and I knew it there was no one sleeping on the second deck.

I do not know if was just my imagination, nightmare or it was real.

Hello Agosto!

I was thinking of what to blogged today because I am kinda bored, and then I remembered that this is actually something to blog about. It's officially August! My birth-month! Last month before Christmas season. LOL

I actually have so many exciting plans within this month and I must say my weekends are fully packed already but not because I will be sleeping all throughout but there are things that I am looking forward to. :)

1.) August 3rd, I am planning to treat my nieces and nephews out to play. Including my dongsengs of course. I'd like to go to La Vie Parissienne with Rimond for a date and I want to take a picture with him on that pink-lit tree! We haven't really been on formal dates because of the expenses and the time, we just go out for church and then dinner at our favorite barbecue place which I might be missing this weekend.

I'd like to go jogging in the morning though of Sunday though to start the August right. I feel really fat and bloated lately and it makes me sad :( 

2.) August 8th - 10th will be busy days 8th is our first ever Acquaintance Party on the 8th, the 9th would probably my day because I had to do something with my hair and then 10th I would be probably cooking at home for my birthday. 

3.) Following week the 15th is the most exciting! I'd be seeing Regine Velasquez!!! Yes, she will have a grand fans day in SM City Cebu on the 15th 3PM. This could be the greatest gift if ever I'd get a picture with her or atleast an autograph! My feels! :) Been a fan for over 10years and this might be the first and last chance I get to see her upclose if ever I get a chance to really stay in front along with Reginian friends. Really crossing my fingers for that. 

The 17th would probably spent with the team for Team Socialization, if I get to see Regine on Friday prior I'd be high while attending the meeting. LOL

4.) I think we will have our midterm on the third week of August but I could be wrong.

5.) The 24th will surely be spent with Rimond, it's his birthday! :)

So yeah, I am not sure if I will be able to attend birthdays here and there because I have a lot of people who's celebrating birthdays this month.

What do you think? ;)

August..please be good to me I beg of you! :)

SNSD members

I was thinking of something to blog about today since it's not busy. LOL but i realized that this is gotta be one of the interesting topics I could post. I am not sure if you know that I am a big fan of SNSD - Girls Generation. Now that most of the girls are dating right now, one can say that someone is ready to settle down considering their age, you know they cannot be an idol member forever. Nearing their 7th year anniversary I would like to explain why I like GG than any other girl groups by stating what I like about them. (to be edited with pictures)

1.) Kim Taeyeon - I want to be Kim Taeyeon or SNSD's kid leader. Known to be a dorky leader and nicknamed as Byuntae or pervert in english, but it's not because of that why I wanted to be like her. LOL. Taeyeon has one of the best voices in KPop. Although I still consider her as the best. She is one of the most popular member of SNSD because of her personality. This girl is really unselfish. She is never an attention-whore. As a leader, she is that kind who just stay on the side and let other members shine and do whatever they do and support them. She has been humble to say how much she needed the other members because she can stand in her own feet when apparently she is actually doing good doing solo being the idol labeled as OST queen. I want to possess her abilities, although she is kind of emotional but that only means she is sensitive on someone else's feelings because she also feels the same. 

2.) Lee Sunny - Sunny stands by her name Sunny. She's very sunny and bright, she's the aegyo queen. Although she's like the center in the sense that she isn't the best singer nor the best dancer in the group she excels well in variety shows and radio. However, what I like about her although she is the niece of Lee Sooman, SM's founder, she never put that in her head. She has always been humble too. She's even being bullied by Hyo yeon sometimes and no complaints. She's also very brave. Remember how she went over to Taeyeon who was dragged by a stalker on stage? She's like super-sunny! She protects the member well and tell them that it's okay..

3.) Jung Jessica - Jessica is really one of the interesting members of SNSD. She looks really chic and cold-looking that is why she is called "ice-princess". However, seeing her on "Krystal and Jessica" show she is actually opposite from her facial expressions. She looks really warm, friendly, she is very caring to her sister that I find really sweet! She is also childish, she laughs easily and she eats a lot! LOL. I want me to be like her. Also aside from that she really has a great fashion, yes I'd say greater than Tiffany. 

4.) Hwang Tiffany - She could be one of my favorite members however she can sometimes be annoying camera-whoring or sometimes attention-whore. She talks a lot and really loud for sure, however, no one can deny that this girl is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S! She looks matured but she's really cute, adorable and attractive for me. But it's not that I like about her, this girl is very sweet and thoughtful. She is being called Manager Hwang because she is very protective with all other  Soshi members. She is also possessive and she gets jealous when one members gets too sweet with other people which I find really cute. I think she's a very honest person and caring per se' that is why I like her.

5.) Kim Hyo yeon - as you know she's favorite member. Aside from her dancing skills I totally admire her personality. After being called "ugly" by other people long time ago, after being underrated member, after having few lines on every song, she never gave up on being an SNSD member. Although she cheats whenever Soshi members whenever they are playing and sometimes can be a bully (but really funny) she loves her members very much. I can sight a lot of examples how 1. would be when she said in Strong Heart before that she was thinking of quitting the group because she felt like she's different from SNSD but she didn't because she loved her members and she likes performing with them. 2.) when she was asked if she was every jealous of other members popularity and she said No, and that she's happy with the member's success and so much more. Thing is although she is lacking in many ways, she was never insecure. She also knows how to  live her life, I think she's the most outgoing member. She's also the mood maker, no way SNSD will be bored with her. I wish she could be given more lines on their songs coz she really sounds fine.

6.) Kwon Yuri - aside from being sexy as hell without even trying, this girl is very talented. She dances well, she used to be an MC on Music Core before along with Tiffany, she wrote My Mistake which was one of my favorite ballad songs from SNSD, she sings well too although sometimes it needs control but her tone is good, and recently been into acting. Tell me what else she couldn't do? She's like jack of all trades although she's best in being sexy. I also like her for being tomboyish and having 4-D personality which is kinda like me. I talk to myself often and would just go crazy out of the blue and Yuri is also like this that is why I like her above a lot of things :)

7.) Choi Soo Young - I find SY unattractive when I started watching GG. Although she really looked Filipino to me but never liked her before. Until The Boys era where she flips her hair on her part, was really chic! Above all that what I like about her is that she's very outspoken, she talks really well. I think she never ran out of words, I think she's the spokesperson in SNSD that is why she became a host. She also is very funny and witty that I like. SNSD should be proud of her :)

8.) Im Yoona - of course! Our Yoong dear! No one can deny how pretty Yoona is. She is cute and adorable personality. Although she is the center of the group she was never pretentious. Yeah she act all pretty on stage which is of course what it should be but on variety shows you would see a different side of her, super funny, tomboyish, never conscious about how she looks like..probably because she knows she's pretty. Although she is the center she is also not selfish or attention seeker. She was the first member who got exposed and became popular but she had a big role on making SNSD what they are today. She's never selfish. 

9.) Seo Joo-hyun or Seohyun - our maknae! This young lady is totally different from any other kids these days. She has consistently pretty since debut and very talented. She plays intruments, she is also an MC, she acts a bit and she dances well apart from being one of the main vocals of the group. What I like about her the most is being by the book. She follows rules, she lives her life modesty, with all honesty, on the right path and she influences her unnies on doing so. She talks well although she admitted she is also stubborn at times. But she's really someone to look up to from teens and young adult nowadays. If all people would be like her then this world could be probably a better place..or boring. LOL

Top 5: Songs of the Week/Month

Instead of posting something emotional today because I am so tired, family issues, insecurities and more I will be posting my top 5 songs of this week instead. This basically makes me pump-up from being sleepy when I am at work or travelling. These songs are not new but can be seasonal and something really different from my norm. LOL

1.) Bar Bar Bar by Crayon Pop - yes, I know it's weird. LOL I didn't like this group neither found it cute the first time I have heard it. However, the song is really singable and could play in your mind because of the repeated lyrics and easy choreography. My brother said that it was cute, okay.. So when I get sleepy in my cube I would just play this song and participate like doing the fanchant and jump at the same time. You should try it also, although you don't understand the lyrics, it's chorus would basically get you in to your foot and just start jumping :) 

2.) The Way by Ariana Grande - I first heard/known this song when Tiffany of SNSD sang this live on Fashion King and it was okaay~ Recently when I went to Manila my friend's friend sang this song and I realized it was also an easy song and basically makes you feel the love - in love. What also got me hook up to this song aside from it's message was Ariana Grande's voice/music. So much remind me of Mariah Carey's classic songs. Although of course MC's better because it's clean and clear, AG's more like youthful sound into it. 

3.)  Partition by Beyonce' - I think I have said this before but I want to memorize it's challenging lyrics that is why I keep playing it. LOL. This song is very sexy, racy-perhaps. Beyonce is dayum sexy with this song. I even had to read through the lyrics and meaning of the song because I really like it :P. So yeah, I think this has been on for like a month now. 

4.) My Boy by Sistar 19 - I am kind of bitter with SISTAR before and not that I like them now but when they were starting I seriously didn't like them for bringing sexy concept in KPOP. I'd prefer cute than sexy concept in KPOP, I don't know I think KPOP for me will always be wholesome for me. Aside from that, hate that Hyorin is not pretty and overrated with her singing, fine she sings well but sometimes it's hard to listen to it. I also don't get why people like Bora, she doesn't have amazing body like Hyorin okaay. But then you cannot deny.. this song is really nice. I cannot deny that also even if I don't like them. LOL. Although I kinda like Bora already, she's sexy and cute and her rapping skills is nice too. Thing is most of their songs (SISTAR) are nice too. I like Alone the most and then this Ma Boy, it sort of grew on me. So although didn't really change my preference of liking them (I am not a hater kaay!) then I would still keep it on my playlist.

5.) Growl by EXO - yes, this has been on for a long time. I am still not sick of it, yeah! I still watch their live performances (where Kris was still a member). I frikin love this song that I even made it as my ring tone on my phone. LOL. I really like it's upbeat, hippy, RnB melody and vocals. Their choreography is <3

Top 5: Male Korean Crush

Today even if it's our Prelim-week I will be posting my Super Korean celebrity crushiee! LOL for that. Do I have time? I am honestly not sure so let's see if I can complete this post or will just be sitting on drafts. LOL

As you know I have been a fan of Korean POP, dramas and variety shows so I have discovered men who gives butterflies in my tummy every time I see them, or I get kilig, or makalaglag-panty men. LOL and yes, my boyfriend does not mind it. :)

1.) Kwon Ji Yong aka G-dragon - need I say more? Like seriously, even this guy is not all hunky and boy-next-door aura/looks he still got every bit of me. He is just my ideal guy ever! :P he looks like a bad boy ..my friends call him adik, or gay but me 'dun care! I friggin love him even if he's post in IG are weird and I cannot relate. He's just so talented , smart, witty and smexy without even trying! I would  rape him anytime...lol joke...not! :P

2.) Junho of 2PM - I liked him first before Gdragon, but changed after discovering Gdragon of course! LOL. He's also not gwapo but he is really talented, he sings so well, he dances so well, he compose songs, plays the piano and he has good body..not to mention well-defined butt! LOL He's one of the maknae in 2PM but they say after Jay Park left he was worthy or next deserving to be 2PM's leader which has never been confirmed who is.. anyhoo, this guy wont be missing on my list.

3.) Kris of EXO - yes, I still consider him as a member of EXO, he will always be our Galaxy Fan Fan. This guy's a chic that I rarely see. He doesn't have to do anything to be noticed. He is seriously drop-dead-gorgeous! He wasn't the best dancer nor best singer in EXO but he was like the first guy I noticed and remembered from the 12-member group of EXO (except for Kai who always in the center and D.O as the smallest member hehe). He's makalaglag-panty as well. LOL 

4.) Hyun Bin and Lee Seunggi - both tied on my #4 spot. That is because I really cannot choose between the two. LOL Hyun Bin because I really like him on anything especially on Secret Garden and of course my ideal man...for Ha Ji Won. LOL I like that he's very charismatic with people and yet private in real life makes him mysterious. He really has a manly face, manly aura but cannot help but be adorable with his dimple. :) awww.. Same goes with Seunggi. Seunggi is the kind of guy who have grown on me. The more I see him the more I like him. He's also talented and although I didn't like him because of him singing but I like him as a person. He's really an ideal guy for many. He's calm-natured, he's funny, smart/witty, he's respectful and all the good qualities/attitude a guy can have. That is why I was so happy that he is in a relationship with Yoona,they match really well. Aside from that he kinda reminds me of my boyfriend. LOL. Maybe because of the eyes and nose and lips? LOL 

5.) Last on my list is Yoo Jaesuk. LOL you surprised? LOL. Yes, it's Yoo Jaesuk the Nations MC of Korea. It's not because of his looks but this guy...you can really feel his sincerity and it overflows so much that all people doesn't have any bad things to say about him. He hosted a lot of shows and you know how much he takes care of people, he isn't an attention whore though. Like Seunggi, I can feel he's also a good-natured man. He is very good on what he does and I am pretty sure he inspires a lot. He's of course funny and smart, pretty sure you wont get bored when you are with him which is also an ideal for me. 

Runners up: 

D.O of EXO because he's cute and he has nice voice.

Won Bin because he is an angel on earth

So Ji Sub because he looks manly and he's personality is also nice, he's still living with his mom and is a mama's boy. LOL

That wraps up my list. If you notice I like a guy who doesn't really have to look perfect but more on personality. He must also be good on what he does and kind, warm guy.. Therefore, my boyfriend is like this. LOL kidding.

Broke-n hearted.

I feel like I have not been tardy for a long time until today :( 

Makes me sad because I really needed that money for my schooling and for my Korean trip(hopefully!), but it's now gone to ashes :( 

I couldn't blame anyone right now but myself, if only I woke up early and even just come here a little early so that I could sleep or not be late, ses! 

I should have followed my instinct on taking the cab than being 2-freakin'-minutes-late!

I did not log in on DTR which means that aside from having no 6,200 perfect attendance bonus I will also have a deduction. ahh..seriously..so heart-breaking.