Mga Pahina

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Break Up? No.

It's really upsetting if someone would seek for your advise, or someone would send you feelers that they need someone to talk to, advice, or someone to listen or consultation about their live loves because something went wrong and they don't have anyone to talk to about it and you were like all ears, attention and provide what you think about it but ends up not taking your advise. 
Most of the love cases are actually ikot-ikot lang. That's why there is a song for it. So far from what I've seen, witness, know it has always been like that. There's this thing called "on-off relationship" or yeah if you know the song Ikot -ikot lang by Sarah G. <ikot ikot lang playing in the background>
As a friend who listens to friend's issues about their lovelives, it would really get annoying if you keep on hearing them say the same issue over an over again, right? and mostly we would recommend to "break up!" because that's the easiest word we could say if you know that your friend is already hurting and issues has been on-going . However,while it's true that "madaling sabihin, mahirap gawin" on the other party's end I think that friends shouldn't suggest the words "break up!" right away.

I understand you are annoyed on hearing issues of your friends, okay? But actually come to think about it the first thing you have actually need to think is that if you are on their shoes, what would you do? Would you want to give up, break up with your  boyfriend/girlfriend right away? NO. right? Unless if you are Beyonce, "I can have another you in a minute" then fine. But even Beyonce wouldn't give up on relationship right away right? 
Secondly, always understand your friends if they are going through something. That's what friend is for. If you don't like hearing about issues over and over again then you are not a true friend. JOKE. Of course that is not the only measure. But for me, it's basically a friend's responsibility to atleast listen, you don't really have to give an advice if you don't have anything to say or suggest. You can just be there and listen, be an absorber and then let it out later. But never talk about their issues behind their backs, it's really a bad thing and you don't want that to happen to you either.
Thirdly, as years go by I have learned that it's not really good to blurt out Break UP right away. I am watching a korean drama right now "It's okay, That's Love" and I am so hook into it but that would be another story. So there's this mention on the 12th episode that says..for every couple, even if they keep on arguing and maybe they don't love each other as before, they decided to keep each other because of the memories they have shared that cannot be replaced. It really made sense to me. I remembered the movie "The Vow" when the mom's leading lady said that "she decided to stay not because of love but because she chose to" because he made her happy that no one would be able to give. Especially for couples who have been together in a long time, memories are built and it's not just on the pictures that you have on your phone that you can delete but it's all on your mind. You cannot take it out. 

Then on, I understand that you cannot really advice to break up with their uyab because that is not very easy. Now I understand why my friends keep on coming back to their ex's, why Selena always get back to Justin  even if he is so much scandalous and .. argh?! Why Angel Locsin had to get back with Lucky, and why your friend couldn't get back to you and tell you they have fixed the issues already. LOL for one, you cannot judge with just one story, unless your are on their shoes. 

Lastly, as a friend do not get upset on whatever decisions they would do. At the end of the day it's always up for them to decide and not yours. You should only understand and not ask why, it's their heart not yours. Yes, you might be hurting for your friend but again it's not  about your feelings but theirs. Same goes for you, anyone can talk to you about your life but most of the time you actually just want someone to listen to you and shrug off anyone's advice right? LOL. no sarcasm intended there. But seriously, my point is. Just be a friend that listens, sometimes that's all what people needs. :)  

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